What's black and white and scandi all over?

If all Scandinavians have painted their wooden floors white, it’s obviously because they know it makes them hotter, taller and have better healthcare. Why can’t we Canadians seem to put our crocheted toilet paper cozies and plaid Lazy Boys away and trade them for some Hygge smugness? Why is nobody’s wood floor painted white in Canada? Has nobody noticed? It’s almost creepy. It’s like putting slightly see-through, tight fitting dress pants on a farmer. He’s not quite ready to take off his denim and concentrate on his panty line quite yet. It’s too much house hotness to handle for our nation. Maybe it just takes one Scandi sympathizer to pull their frozen Canadian gonads out of their peritoneal cavity and say, guys, I think I’m going to do it. I’m going full Scandi white floor, eh. Good for you little Canadian Scandi, good for you. I would buy your house, because I stil don’t have the courage to do it myself.