Bali-ho
The problem with Bali is that it’s too beautiful with too many amazing choices. I know right? How tiring. Poor me, you’re probably thinking. How tedious it is to have to pick which view of paradise in which architect designed house you want to stay in.
Nonetheless, once you’ve finally selected which infinity pool is more you, you better start researching how to ram up your instagram game to a million. It’s not paradise until you’ve proven it by putting on a red dress and bullied your thin-scrotumed boyfriend into taking a thousand shots of you walking fetchingly away while he holds your hand. You look so casual gurl, you’re rocking this effortless tropical beauty thing. Immediately after, go run and find yourself a giant swing or death net perched above some beautiful rice paddy that you think is worth dying for. The admiration of other douche-bags is always worth dying for, of course, so don’t bother enjoying a beer in the pool until you’ve picked up at least a few 100 more followers.
I’m just bitter of course because I’m too fat to wear red, it accentuates my pannus in the wrong ways and the bulls start getting crazy horny when they see it. Anyhow, here are some of my favesies Bali paradise airbnb’s.
